Best Played (Salt Lake Pumas) Page 17

  Roxi’s gaze darted towards me. From the look of hope in her eyes, it seemed that her thoughts were very similar to mine. I want to choose that with Roxi, and for her to choose it with me!

  “It’s not something I’d pick with just anyone,” Roxi agreed. “Not that I’m suggesting Rachel has! She and Tim are so happy together.”

  She smiled, her mind, no doubt, flashing back to scenes from the wedding we’d attended. “But I’ve been out with men I wouldn’t want to be a couple with!” she exclaimed, glancing at my mom to see if she had made her laugh.

  When it did, Roxi beamed. It made my heart skip a beat. She looked so fucking beautiful. I could hardly believe that she was here. For me. I’d thought I’d lost her through my actions, through the way I was. Yet, here she was. Sat across from me at my parent’s dining table, looking more beautiful than ever.

  “Our son likes you a lot, Roxi,” my dad spoke up, making us all look at him. “And while my wife can ask some hard questions, it’s only because she wants what’s best for him. But I think I speak for all of us when I say that we can tell that so do you.”

  “Yes,” my mom nodded. “He worries too much about things and you seem like the sort of woman who’ll remind him to stop worrying.”

  I gave Roxi a grin. I thought I was pretty alright at reminding her not to worry, too, which maybe was a good indication that we could go far.

  The smile Roxi directed around the table was softer. I could almost see the nerves and the determination to do well melting away, leaving her more relaxed and able to speak freely.

  “I do,” Roxi agreed. “And I want to learn how to remind him not to worry about things. It’s not something I’ve really done before, but I’m good at learning new skills.”

  She shot me a sidelong glance, her lips curving into a smirk. “Well, as long as it’s not skating. I might never be good at that.”

  Both of my parents laughed and it felt like the ice had been broken. We changed the topic, then Mom asked Roxi about her work and what exactly it was that she did. They were somewhat reminiscent of the questions I had asked Roxi, which made me smile.

  It was easy to relax into it. To let the conversation wash over me and just appreciate being here. It was too soon for me to know that I loved Roxi, I was well aware of that. And, as my mom had pointed out, my emotions weren’t the most stable right now to make that decision either. But I did know that even if I wasn’t in love with her right now (and I very well might have been), it wouldn’t be hard to get there.

  After dinner, Roxi and I went for a walk around Stockholm. It felt nice to show her some of the places I considered home and I promised to take her to some more touristy places the next day. By the time we got back, it was time to head to bed.

  I’d assured Roxi that my parents wouldn’t mind us sharing a bed. They were very far from the sort of people who would care. We were, after all, adults and at that, we were adults who’d missed each other quite a bit.

  Roxi’s rush to get to Sweden had left her without any sleepwear, which was how she’d ended up in one of my high school hockey shirts, my surname plastered across her back in a way that made my heart beat faster.

  Joining me in the bed, Roxi fluffed the pillows just the way I remembered doing it at her parents’ house. “And to think that, a month ago, I didn’t even remember meeting you before,” I teased.

  “It was very big of me to forgive you for that,” Roxi informed me, her expression all mock seriousness. “I’m sure some people would be deeply offended that you didn’t know I was worth getting to know just from seeing me once!”

  It made me laugh, because Roxi was clearly teasing. She was too down-to-earth a person to really believe that I should have known just from looking at her how important she was going to become.

  “Is it weird?” she asked suddenly. “I mean, that I was a fan? I worried about that, at my parents’. Whether it would freak you out if I knew too much about you from interviews.”

  That was a fair question. It wasn’t actually something I had thought about. Yes, the fact that Roxi had been a fan before we met was something I knew. What that actually meant, though, I hadn’t considered. Obviously, the fact that there were people out there who read all my interviews was something I was aware of but also wasn’t something I truly thought about.

  “Am I much different?” I asked curiously. “From what you expected.” It was interesting, but before Roxi answered, I shook my head. “But no. I think if I thought you were dating me because you were a fan, it’d be different.” Because that would be weird. “But,” I gave Roxi a grin. “I think you quite like me even without that.”

  Roxi’s giggle made my heart do a 360 spin inside my chest. I’d almost forgotten how good it felt to make her laugh. And it was a good sign, I thought, that I still had the power to.

  “You are different,” Roxi said slowly. “But… I think anyone would be. Even the most in-depth interview only gives you a glimpse of what a person is like. Spending real time together, without an agenda, is so much more.”

  She leaned back against the pillows, her hair loose and spilling down over her shoulders. “You’re more open than I thought you’d be. I assumed you’d be worried about how people perceived you, and it doesn’t feel as though you are.”

  Stretching out in the bed, I turned on my side to watch Roxi. I gave a small hum as I thought about what she’d said. There was some element of truth in what she said about me not worrying how people perceived me. Maybe it was something that had changed with age or with experience.

  “I don’t want people to think badly of me,” I commented. That was something that I imagined most people felt. “But I don’t imagine that I will always have a choice in how people perceive me. All I can do is try to be me and hope that’s enough.”

  But, I supposed, part of my running away had been worrying about not being enough. Roxi deserved to know that. “Your dad told me that you needed someone stable and I felt that after what happened... I didn’t think I could be that for you. I still don’t know if I can.”

  A frown settled between Roxi’s eyebrows. She seemed to turn what I’d told her over in her mind, considering it carefully. “I don’t know if that’s true,” she said. “And even if it is, I don’t think what happened is the kind of thing he meant.”

  She pursed her lips for a moment before admitting, “Maybe the leaving without giving me a chance part.” The words stung, but I deserved them. I had left, and Roxi had every right to consider what that meant about how I might treat her in future.

  “I don’t think I need someone whose mood is always level,” Roxi said. “I mean, you’re in the NHL! There were always going to be highs and lows that came with that. I think what I need is someone whose commitment to me and to the relationship is going to stay steady. Not someone whose opinion of me is going to depend on how willing I am to put him first. I’ve been with some men like that.”

  My expectation definitely wasn’t that Roxi put me first, not always. There was, of course, a normal level of putting someone you were in a relationship with first but I’d never expect Roxi to give me more of herself than she kept.

  Reaching out, I brushed my hand over Roxi’s arm. “I want to be steady for you,” I told her honestly. “And no, I don’t know if I will always be that as your boyfriend, but I really want to try. It scares me, but I know I can work hard to achieve.”

  Roxi turned towards me, closing the distance between us. Under the covers, her body was warm against mine, making my mouth go instantly dry.

  “You are steady, in the ways that matter,” she promised. “You spent a whole week with me, and my family, and you never gave me any reason to question whether I could rely on you.”

  But after that, there’d been the manic mood swing. Before I could say so, Roxi got there first. “I know you worry, but I don’t. And your parents did say I was supposed to remind you not to.”

  So she kissed me, slowly and sweetly, one hand resting over the beati
ng of my heart.

  It was impossible not to smile into the kiss. The worries practically melted from me. Relaxing against Roxi, I let her kiss me, her tongue making its way into my mouth. This was still different than our kisses in my parents’ study had been. This was slow, steady, everything I wanted us to be.

  When we pulled apart, both of our lips were red. Smiling at Roxi, my hand came up to brush a strand of her hair aside. “I have a lot of feelings for you,” I told her because I couldn’t yet tell her what those feelings were. “And I look forward to having even more.”

  She leaned into my touch, her cheek soft as silk against the palm of my hand. For a quiet moment, she just rested there and I could feel the warm puff of her breath against me.

  “I have feelings for you, too,” she assured me. It made my heart turn over in my chest just to hear her say it. I could hardly imagine how much more it would move me when we could put those feelings into words.

  For now, Roxi seemed intent to show me how she felt. Her lips brushed mine once more, teeth nibbling gently at my lower lip before she gave a soft moan into my mouth.

  Parting my lips, I welcomed her back in. This time the kiss heated up, much more reminiscent of the one we’d shared earlier. It was easy to pull Roxi closer against me, to do what I’d wanted to do for so long.

  As our bodies met, moving closer against each other, it felt like we were always meant to be here. It hadn’t been easy, but somehow, the rocky road had let us get here. All that mattered now was that I could pour all those feelings into our kiss, into this.

  It felt like coming home so much more than actually coming home had and I could hardly wait for all the other feelings Roxi would make me have.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Roxi

  Olle’s parents couldn’t have been nicer to me, really. Especially considering that I’d shown up at their house out of the blue. Answering his mom’s questions about why I’d felt the need to lie about having a boyfriend had been nerve-wracking, but I understood why she wanted to know.

  In a way, it was a practice run for telling my parents the truth about us. Now that we were going to seriously try to be there for one another, I knew I’d have to eventually come clean.

  But not yet. I’d called Steph to tell her that I was in Stockholm, asking her to run interference with Mom and Dad for a few days. There was no use worrying them before I got back into the country.

  As nice as Olle’s parents had been, it was a relief when Olle suggested we spend the day out, just the two of us. It was exactly what I wanted, to soak up the chance of being near him, seeing the sights and slowly putting words to the rising hope inside me.

  He’d driven us less than half an hour away from the city when he pulled off towards a sign that said ‘Drottningholm’. Of course, I had no idea what that was, until Olle explained that it was a palace!

  As we crossed a low bridge, I gazed out at the peaceful river and across to a huge yellow-looking building on the other side. “It’s beautiful here,” I said, my words tinged with emotion.

  I’d shown Olle how stunning Tennessee could be. Now it was his turn to display the treasures of his home country. “Is it always this… idyllic?”

  Olle chuckled. “I don’t really know,” he told me. “I haven’t been here since I was a kid. But it’s a pretty great place to take someone as a tourist,” he commented. It was definitely like nothing I’d seen at home. I’d been to castles before, when traveling with my sister, but this felt... better.

  Not that traveling with Steph wasn’t great, but it felt different to go somewhere with someone who actually knew the country as a home.

  As I took everything in, Olle reached out to take my hand. “It was on my list of things I told Steph are worth seeing in Sweden. The closest one, I think. Did I tell you she called me? A couple of days ago. It was... unexpected.”

  Lacing my fingers through Olle’s, I let him guide us closer to the castle. We skirted around the edge of a fountain, peering up to try to make out the statue in the center. “No,” I answered, frowning. “Did she just call to use you for research?” I’d known Steph wanted to ask Olle more specific questions about Sweden. I just hadn’t expected her to do it so soon!

  Shifting my gaze, I tried to read the expression on Olle’s face. “Did you tell her -” Well, I didn’t really know what to ask. We hadn’t officially broken up, because we hadn’t officially been together. But as far as Steph knew, we’d been a couple for months!

  “All this lying is getting complicated,” I admitted. “If it’s okay with you, I think I’ll tell them the truth when I get back.”

  Olle gave my hand a squeeze. “Of course it’s okay with me,” he promised. “But no, I didn’t tell her. It didn’t feel like my place to say. Mostly, I was just surprised you hadn’t,” he admitted.

  “She didn’t call me just for research,” he added with a small chuckle. “She wanted to talk about your birthday. It made me realize that I actually knew what I wanted to get you. And then feel sad that I wouldn’t see the excitement on your face when you found out what it is. But...”

  Pausing, Olle looked at me, his smile gentle. “I guess I will now.”

  My smile back was far wider. It made my heart soar to think that Olle had really put time and effort into what he might get me for my birthday. “You will,” I agreed, nodding. Of course, I wanted to ask immediately what Olle’s plans were. But how could I risk spoiling the moment he’d just described?

  “I didn’t really have time to tell Steph anything,” I admitted. “As soon as Lacey told me you were leaving, I raced to the airport.” My cheeks colored, but I wasn’t ashamed of the impulse to chase after Olle. “But your flight had already left, so then I went home and made a plan,” I explained.

  “You raced to the airport?” Olle said, the surprise evident in his tone. “Like... in a romantic movie?” he asked, making us both laugh. But I couldn’t deny it! I hadn’t exactly had a plan and, looking back at it, it wasn’t a surprise that it hadn’t worked out.

  Olle, too, seemed to know this, but, still, he leaned in to press a quick, almost chaste kiss against my lips. “What were you going to do? Stop my plane?” A soft grin tugged the corner of Olle’s mouth up at the question.

  “No,” I answered, grinning back, “I would have let the plane leave, as long as you weren’t on it!” We stepped through the door of the palace, which was even more beautiful inside than out! Even in my trips with Steph, I’d never seen anything quite like it.

  Barely taking my gaze away from the ornate decorations, I added, “I think it worked out better this way. Reuniting in your family home was a lot more romantic than in an airport.”

  That also made Olle chuckle as he shook his head. “I guess maybe it’s even more romantic since it ties back to me visiting your family home,” he teased. “But you’re right. I think this has worked out well. I’m really glad you’re here, Roxi,” Olle smiled.

  We walked through the palace, with me deciding when to stop and what to view. Olle didn’t seem to even care, because every time I looked at him he was looking at me. It made blush color my cheeks and Olle laughed at that, too.

  “I just struggle to believe this is real,” he admitted.

  My smile softened. After what Olle had told me about worrying he couldn’t be stable for me, it was easier to understand why this might seem too good to be true. “But it is real,” I promised.

  “You’ve done nothing wrong. Nothing which even made me question flying all the way here to make sure I didn’t let you slip through my fingers. When I thought I’d pushed you too hard -” My voice wavered. I didn’t think I could express the pain I’d felt that I might have ruined things with Olle.

  Shaking my head, I went up on my tiptoes to press a chaste kiss against his lips. It filled me with butterflies, not just because of Olle but also because of the grandness of our surroundings. “There’s no one I want to kiss in a proper castle more than you,” I teased.

  “O
h, is that so?” Olle asked, turning towards me. His hand settled against my side, just at the curve of my hip. I could feel the heat radiating through my dress. When he kissed me this time, it wasn’t chaste at all. Yes, it was still pure enough for someone seeing us not to feel uncomfortable, but the butterflies in my stomach definitely swooped at the depth of Olle’s passion for me.

  When he pulled back, Olle gave me another smile. “It’s lucky then that I’m here to kiss you,” he told me.

  I hummed softly, barely even noticing the world around me as I focused all of my attention on Olle. “Luck, plus a little determination on my side,” I insisted. After all, I hadn’t let missing Olle’s plane put me off.

  “And maybe all this was meant to happen,” I added. It was the kind of romantic idea Lacey would have suggested that I’d never believed in before. But now, after everything that had happened, I was ready to accept that maybe some things were meant to be.

  Drawing back, I pulled Olle into another magnificent room. Since we were here, we might as well enjoy it. Steph would never forgive me if I didn’t take back a full report. Besides, I hadn’t even teased Olle about his crush on the Swedish princess, yet!

  It was a gorgeous day, and one that I wouldn’t have missed for anything.

  In an ideal world, I would have stayed with Olle all summer. But we both knew that wasn’t practical. Unlike the NHL, there was no ‘off-season’ for property management. I had to get back to work eventually.

  Besides, I had a lot to catch up with my friends and family about!

  Olle insisted on driving me to the airport, and I didn’t really argue very hard. I wanted to spend as many moments as possible with him.

  He sat with me at the airport’s cafe, lingering until the last possible moment before I needed to check-in and go through security.

  “Let’s plan something,” I suggested. “Your first night back in Salt Lake City. What do you want to do? What do you usually do?” Olle didn’t seem the type to throw a big homecoming party.