Best Played (Salt Lake Pumas) Page 16

  Secure in the knowledge that I was looking for a black Toyota, I carried the paperwork out with me, scanning the parking lot for the correct license plate.

  It was a relief to get behind the wheel where, if nothing else, nobody was going to need me to speak anything other than English!

  Of course, then there was the problem of actually getting to Olle’s parents’ address. I’d programmed it into my phone before I left, and I’d looked over the route to familiarize myself with it, too.

  Even so, it wasn’t easy! The robotic voice of my navigational system couldn’t begin to cope with all the Swedish street names. At least once every twenty minutes I had to pull over, so I could look at the name I was supposed to be searching for with my own eyes.

  It was lucky I’d picked a plane that landed in Sweden early in the day. If my good fortune held, I might reach my destination before it got dark.

  My hands were shaking on the steering wheel as I pulled up outside a long, low house surrounded by masses of green grass and several pots of flowers. According to my SatNav, this was the place.

  A cold dread suddenly washed over me. All through my journey, I’d been doing my best not to think about whether this was a sensible way to behave. It had seemed so right, back when I’d had my feet firmly on US soil.

  But what was I going to actually say, now that I was here? And what if Olle’s mom or dad answered the door? I didn’t even know if they spoke any English, and my handful of Swedish phrases were not going to get me very far.

  On the other hand, I’d come all this way. There was no chance of me slinking back home now without at least making my stand.

  So I slipped from the car door, heading up the path as I tried to swallow past the knot of anxiety in my throat.

  When I saw a shadow moving past one of the windows, I almost ran straight back to my car.

  I had to screw my courage up tight to finally raise a hand and press the doorbell. At least I knew somebody was home. I wouldn’t be stuck waiting out here for hours.

  It definitely wasn’t taking someone hours to come to answer the door, but the way anxiety twisted in my stomach, it certainly felt it. There was no going back, I kept telling myself. Maybe very technically I could’ve run back to my car, but no! I’d traveled to Sweden. I was going to see Olle.

  There was no telling my nerves to go away, so I just clutched the car keys harder, waiting.

  Finally, I heard someone approaching the door. A click later, I was face to face with Olle.

  Not his mom. Or his dad. Or someone else entirely opening the door, but Olle.

  “Roxi?” he asked almost like he thought maybe he’d imagined me. That was probably fair since I’d showed up unannounced at his parents’ house in a different country!

  Part of me wanted to throw myself against his chest and let him wrap his arms around me. After my long journey, I wanted to give all my cares over to someone else. And especially to Olle, who’d always seemed so able to handle everything I threw at him.

  Now wasn’t the time for that kind of relief. Instead, I stood awkwardly, trying to smile without it seeming weird. In all the time I’d been waiting, I hadn’t come up with words to explain what I was doing here.

  “You left without saying goodbye,” I started, wincing at how accusing that sounded. “And I didn’t want to say goodbye. So… here I am, hoping we can say something else...”

  For a moment, he just stared at me and I began to genuinely worry that Olle would tell me to go away. I hadn’t really planned for that. I hadn’t, in some ways, planned for very much at all. Of course, in other ways, I’d planned plenty. Olle wasn’t going to tell me to go away, I was sure.

  Then, as if to prove me right, Olle stepped to one side.

  “Do you want to come in? I’ve just laid the table for dinner, but we’ve got space for one more. My mom’s cooking is worth traveling to Sweden for,” he told me and just the smallest of smiles tugged at the corners of Olle’s mouth.

  My stomach flipped, nerves and excitement both dancing inside me. Olle was at least willing to hear me out! While that wasn’t all I had hoped for, it was a good beginning, and I was going to grab it with both hands.

  “Uh. Do you think we could talk privately before I have to sit down for dinner with your mom?” I asked, looking into Olle’s clear blue eyes. While I’d known his parents would be here, I hadn’t quite prepared for what meeting them would be like. Especially if I didn’t know whether or not Olle and I had any hope of a future together.

  “Yeah, of course,” he said, nodding.

  Olle called something out in Swedish but my ‘easy conversation Swedish’ handbook really was not adequate for me to figure out what it was. A woman’s voice called something back and Olle turned to give me another soft smile.

  “We can go in the study,” he said, leading the way. The house was very nice, organized but definitely homely. I wondered if this was the house Olle had grown up in. Maybe I’d ask once we didn’t have more pressing matters to discuss.

  He closed the door behind us, leaning against it. “It’s nice to see you, Roxi,” he told me gently. “I’m sorry about... leaving.” But the word felt heavy, like there was so much more behind it.

  The words seemed to open a floodgate inside me, making it so much easier to carry on the conversation. I gave Olle a grateful look, wanting him to know I appreciated him getting us started.

  “I’m sorry, too,” I said, before I could lose my nerve. “I know I’m not your girlfriend, or anything. We’ve only been on one date!” The week at my family home didn’t really count. We’d only been pretending, after all.

  Lifting my chin, I forced myself to meet Olle’s eyes. “I’m sorry that I didn’t handle it better. There’s no excuse I can offer you. I knew I was invading your privacy in a way, but I just didn’t know what else I should do.” I still didn’t, but I could see how talking to Will and hanging around until the doctor arrived could be seen as too much.

  “What?” he frowned, like my words didn’t quite make sense in his head. I wasn’t actually sure which bit he might not understand. Additionally, there was some reluctance within me to say it again.

  But Olle didn’t ask me to repeat it. Instead, he shook his head. “I’m not... angry at you,” he told me. “I... fuck, Roxi, I’m ashamed about what happened, but I didn’t... You did great. You did exactly what needed to be done, I don’t fault that.”

  Lacey had said Olle might feel ashamed, that he’d felt like he needed to apologize to Will, but that made about as much sense to me as my words had clearly made to Olle!

  “You have nothing to be ashamed of,” I said. “I mean, I won’t pretend it would have been easier if you’d told me before that it was something that might happen. Then I wouldn’t have been so worried.”

  Shaking my head, I instantly continued. “But of course you hadn’t told me yet! We’d only known each other a few weeks. And with you being a celebrity, and everything…” Of course, I would never have gone to the press with any of what happened between us. But nobody could expect Olle to be sure of that when he’d known me for such a small amount of time.

  “It hasn’t happened in a long time,” Olle told me with a soft sigh. “That was why I transferred to the Pumas. When I was eighteen, nineteen, for a few years then, I was pretty manic all the time. I didn’t know. Laura, she loved it. Endless parties, just not a care in the world. I was lucky not to lose hockey altogether.”

  I wanted to jump in, to tell Olle how shitty his girlfriend had been to do that, to not support him. But he knew. And besides, this was Olle’s story. I wanted to hear it.

  After a moment’s pause, he carried on. “When I got to Pumas, that’s when I was diagnosed. Within that first year on the team, I went from party boy to... me. The medication helped to just calm me down, to put things in perspective. But yeah, even with it, sometimes my mood dips.

  “This was the worst it’s been. If I’d known it was likely, I would have told you. It was never
that I worried you’d... It just didn’t occur to me until it was too late.”

  Carefully, I stepped closer, near enough that I could lean my weight slightly against Olle’s shoulder. The scent of him filled my lungs, my shoulders relaxing from a tension I hadn’t even realized I was carrying.

  “I’m glad I know, now,” I said softly. “It doesn’t make me see you any differently. You’re still Olle, even if your mood gets out of your hands sometimes.” Even when Olle had been at his most manic, I’d felt safe around him.

  I wanted to be somebody he felt secure with, too. “I didn’t come all this way to bring you back, or anything,” I promised. If Olle wanted to stay in Sweden, if he needed that time, I wasn’t going to press him to return to what we’d been building before he was ready.

  “But I do kind of want to know that, when you get back, you’ll want to see me again,” I added.

  “Of course, I want to see you!” Olle exclaimed. He sounded surprised, like the idea that he might not had genuinely not occurred to him. It felt nice. Gave me hope, but I was careful not to let my heart trust. If Olle didn’t want us to, then we wouldn’t. But I hoped he did.

  With one of his hands, Olle nudged my side. Just the smallest of pokes, but it made butterflies swarm in my stomach.

  “You traveled across an ocean to see me,” Olle commented. “Are you... Are you sure I’m worth it? I don’t want to let you down, Roxi.”

  I laughed - and got to watch Olle’s face light up in response. It made the sensation of butterflies even more intense as I smiled up at him.

  “Well, Steph did tell you that I liked an adventure,” I pointed out. “But yes, of course, I’m sure. You make me feel different than anybody else I’ve ever met. I’d be an idiot not to at least try.”

  In my heart, I felt sure that Olle and I were going to do more than try. But it had only been a few weeks, and I was cautious about scaring him off with words I’d never said to anyone else.

  “I want to see what happens,” I said softly. “I want to learn what to do when you’re sad about a game. I want to show off my show-jumping to you and hear you rooting for me in the crowd. I want to take you home to my family for real.”

  Maybe, one day, we’d even tell them the truth about us not being a couple at Rachel’s wedding.

  When Olle didn’t say anything immediately, I worried I’d said too much.

  But then, his mouth was on mine, lips hot against me as his arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me in tightly. All I had to do - all I wanted to do! - was kiss him back. Our tongues met in a passionate dance and it was almost like all those butterflies from my stomach were flying out into Olle.

  Turning us around, Olle’s body pressed against mine, my body trapped between him and the wall. I could have pushed Olle back, he gave me plenty of room to do so, but I hardly wanted to do that. Instead, one of my hands came up, fingers tangling in Olle’s hair if anything, pulling him in even closer.

  It felt as if a thousand fireworks lit up inside me. This was even better, even sweeter, than our kisses in the barn! Olle’s focus on me was so intense, like he’d been missing me with every fiber of his being.

  My free hand curled into the fabric of his shirt, my mind supplying the image of how good Olle’s chest and abs had looked every time he’d been shirtless while we were sharing a bedroom.

  When his hands slid down to my thighs, I hopped up, letting him lift me.

  The way it was so easy for him, like I weighed nothing, made my body run even hotter than the kisses were making me. I rocked against Olle and it wasn’t until both of us gave soft moans that he pulled back. My breath was coming in short bursts and Olle’s lips were red from the kissing.

  “We shouldn’t be doing this in my parents’ study,” he laughed, lowering me back down carefully. “But I definitely want to, don’t be fooled,” he added. That made me laugh, because yeah, I was pretty sure that I knew.

  Taking a step back, Olle straightened his shirt. “So, um, you’re not angry?”

  Smiling, I did my best to adjust my own clothes. If I was about to face Olle’s family, I didn’t want to do it looking like we’d had a quickie in their study. Especially since we hadn’t!

  “I’m not angry,” I promised. “You didn’t do anything wrong. And look,” I gestured between us, to indicate all the words we’d said as well as the kisses we’d exchanged, “no harm done!”

  I wanted us to give this relationship a try, whatever that might look like.

  “Would it be alright if I stayed for a few days?” I asked, suddenly feeling shy. “I mean, if you need more space, that’s fine, but -” I shrugged.

  The way Olle didn’t even hesitate before he nodded made my heart skip a beat. “Yeah, of course,” he assured. “We have a couple of guest bedrooms if you prefer, too,” he added. Chewing on his lower lip, Olle leaned in to kiss me again then.

  Unlike the heated kisses we’d just exchanged, this was slower. It felt like all of his feelings were being poured into it and I did my best to return that. When he pulled back, Olle’s face looked calm in a way I hadn’t seen maybe ever.

  “I can’t believe you came all the way to Sweden for me,” he laughed. “My mom’s going to be so excited to meet you.”

  I flushed, delight and anxiety mixing together in the pit of my stomach. But I could hardly complain. Olle had met my parents before we’d even decided that we wanted to go out. Now that I’d flown all this way to meet him, it was the least I could do to let him introduce me to his family.

  “I just hope she takes to me as quickly as my family took to you,” I said softly. “I’ve had three messages asking after you since we got back.” Olle looked surprised, but also pleased. Leaning in, I pressed one last lingering kiss against his lips.

  “Okay,” I said, straightening my shoulders. “Let’s do this.”

  When Olle took my hand, it felt as if all his positivity and confidence flowed into me through his fingers. With him at my side, I could take on anything life threw at me.

  Chapter Twenty

  Olle

  Despite the fact that Roxi was right here, sitting across my parents’ dining table, smiling at me, I could hardly believe it. Even an hour ago, I thought I’d lost her. That she wouldn’t want this, that I couldn’t have this. Yet, here she was.

  Roxi had traveled to Sweden for me. To see me. To tell me off for leaving. Except she hadn’t even really done that. Everything in me felt so much lighter now we had talked. It was impossible not to smile as I looked at her.

  “I’ve heard a lot about you, Roxi,” Mom said, making us both turn to her. “You’ve been the best fake girlfriend my son’s ever had,” she teased. The comment made me choke on the water I’d just taken a sip of.

  “Mom!” But, even to me, the word sounded more like a whine than anything else. Dad just shook his head, reaching for his glass of water. He was not a man of many words, but, thankfully, Mom made it up for both of them.

  I knew from what she’d said in the study that Roxi was at least a little nervous, but she didn’t show it. She looked almost natural sitting there, tucking into my mom’s home cooking.

  “I would say that Olle was the best fake boyfriend I ever had, but I don’t want you to think I had more than one!” she noted. “But he was very popular in Tennessee. Even my dad liked him, and he’s a hard man to impress.”

  Her eyes darted to my own dad, like maybe she was wondering if his lack of chatter meant he was also less likely to be impressed by her.

  “He spoke very highly of your home and family, too,” Mom commented, making me smile. I had very much enjoyed Roxi’s family, they’d been sweet and very welcoming. In some ways, I did wonder if perhaps her family had been more welcoming than mine was being.

  But Mom worried, I knew that. We’d talked about it, even.

  “I must say, when Olle first told me about pretending to be someone’s boyfriend, I wasn’t sure that would be a particularly good idea,” she hummed and, despite the looks
I shot her, Mom didn’t seem to think she needed to change the topic of conversation. “Can I ask, Roxi, why is it that you felt the need to lie to your family about it?”

  “Mom,” I sighed, giving Roxi a pained look. “She’s normally really nice, I promise.”

  My mom didn’t seem very bothered, though, just giving a small dismissive wave. “She understands I have questions,” Mom informed me.

  I could practically hear Roxi swallow. An urge to defend her rose in my chest. I already knew that Roxi’s reasons had been nothing but noble; I didn’t want her to have to explain herself to Mom on my behalf.

  Before I could jump in, Roxi had squared her shoulders, ready to reply. “My sister Rachel is incredibly sweet,” she began, “but she’s also one of those people who can’t really imagine that other people feel things differently than she does.”

  She paused, giving my mom the opportunity to nod, indicating that she was aware of people like Roxi described. “She’d be miserable if one of us got married and she had to sit alone at the wedding, so she assumed that it would make me miserable, too.”

  Roxi shrugged. “It wouldn’t have, but instead of trying to explain that to Rachel, I just said I would bring someone. It was a spur-of-the-moment lie - but once I’d told it, I couldn’t see an elegant way to back out.”

  My mom gave a small hum and I practically braced for whatever she was going to say next. But what Mom actually said surprised me.

  “I do know,” she nodded. “I have a friend like that. Wants everyone to be happy but only thinks one can be happy if they’re in a couple.” It was strange to hear, because I couldn’t even think of which friend my mom meant but from how Dad nodded, he clearly did.

  “And yes,” Mom continued. “Being in a couple is nice and all, but it’s being able to be on your own, too, that really matters.” At that, she glanced at me and then Roxi. “It’s nice to choose to be a couple.”